Friday, October 9, 2009

This is my life ...

Last night I went out with my lovely ladies. There were a multitude of people at the place we frequent, and it became kind of a chore to get a drink, or even ... well ... move. This is not the kind of place I like to be on my ladies nights. I enjoy smaller crowds, less maintenance, more substance, and an all-around more personal experience. By the end of the night I was feeling little, lets just say, restless.

I live kind of close to the beach. On my way home, I got an inkling that it would be a good idea to head to said beach (at 1:48 AM). It was a beautiful night and moon/stargazing seemed like an excellent idea. I actually had a conversation with myself regarding the merits of taking my little trek to the ocean, and ultimately it resulted in, "you're gonna be pissed at yourself if you don't go simply because you're being lazy!" The gut won. Off to Newport I went!

When I arrived at the beach, and found my ideal parking spot, there was a cop car kind of lurking. I know they were just patrolling (it's what they do), but it should have been a sign for me. A sign to high-tail it, the F, out of there. But I didn't. I had this overwhelming desire to shove my feet in sand, listen to waves, stargaze, and wander. So I did. I always have a pair of
flip-flops ("Locals" from my last trip to Hawaii) in my car, just in case. (Ladies, I promise... this is wise. I learned my lesson at Coachella & ever since I make sure to always have either flip flops or granny slippers somewhere in my auto). I pulled off my boots and slipped on my flip flops for the walk across the street, slipped those puppies right back off and had myself a barefooted moonlight stroll in the yummy cool (superfine, by the way) sand! It was perfect. Earlier, I was feeling disenchanted and weighed down, but fulfilling my spontaneous urge completely fixed that! Weight lifted! I feel so much better today!

As Will Smith, a.k.a. The Fresh Prince would say, "Pay attention here's the thick of the plot"!

After my 2:00 AM jaunt on the beach, I walked back to my car with a big stupid grin on my face and headed home. I was very careful about everything, just to be sure I didn't get pulled over for anything stupid. Newport Beach/Newport Blvd. is filled with dumb-asses around 2:15 - 2:30AM. I was driving down Newport Blvd., listening to an awesome genius playlist on my iPod built off of "Wild Horses", by the Rolling Stones, & enjoying my brilliant decision, when I suddenly noticed blue and red lights flashing in my rearview mirror. Considering how careful I had been, I really had no idea why I could be being pulled over. I actually drifted over to the shoulder, thinking the cop would pass me, but alas... no... I was being pulled over... PROPER! My attempt at being careful had proved to be futile!

In my brief fit of panic, I devised a very simple (yet apparently, effective) plan... charm the SHIT out of this guy! You MUST! Slap on your best Scarlett O'Hara manipulation mask, and have as much fun with this as you can. If you end up in trouble, at least you'll have a good story! It totally worked. As it turns out, in my autumn-salty-beach-air intoxication, I had forgotten to turn on my headlights when I got back in my car, (like a proper MORON). I'm an idiot!!!!

He asked me where I was? Informed me that no-headlights is basically a target for drunk-drivers. He asked me what was I doing? Had I been drinking? I explained that I had just gone through a really rough day, and had headed down to the beach to sort of decompress. "you know officer? We've all had those days, I'm sure you can understand." To which he chortled, and actually agreed!!!! HAHAH!!! "Yeah, I get it. I understand!" HOLY CRAP, it was totally working. I told him I hadn't been drinking (which was kiiiiiind of a lie. I had been drinking, but waaaayyyy earlier. Alcohol-wise, I was more than fine. There's no way I'd drive to Newport Beach if I was worried I might have too much alcohol in me), and I thanked him for being so conscientious as to pull me over. I apologized and told him it was sweet of him to be so concerned about my well-being and safety in my efforts to get home. He asked, "You don't have an arrest record do you? Any warrants out?" Of course I don't. He ran my license and registration and everything, and very nicely, sent me on my way. He was one of the nicest cops I've ever run into. (Aside from the one who sang, "Baby's Got Back", with me). He told me that he hoped my night got better, that the beach helped, and that I got home safe. I'm one lucky girl. A nice set of eyelashes doesn't hurt either. ;)

This is my life ...


  1. That's amazing! I love Scarlett O'Hara. Gone With the Wind is my favorite movie.

    Glad you got out of it and home safe.

  2. HAH! Thanks lady!

    (I read "Gone w/ The Wind" when I was 14, I should've watched the movie.)